“Oh it’s Valentine’s Day this Friday.” Ok, even I’m not convinced with my own ‘acting surprised’ icebreaker. I blame it totally on the lack of mirror time. And the weather.
“Damn it, the malls would be so, so crowded with idiots and their over-dressed girlfriends.” Strike 1.
“Not only dating couples celebrate it, you know?”
“Yeah, some idiots are apparently married too.” Strike 2. I’m beginning to worry about my chances.
“So I’m assuming I’ll be empty handed on Friday?” No point beating around the bush anymore.
“So you’re going to make me an idiot after all?” Argh…. I hate, hate, hate his theories sometimes.
“Do you have anything planned for Friday then?” He asked deliberately, moments later.
“Oh yes, I’m going out on a hot date with my imaginary footballer boyfriend.”
“That means NO. Ok, I’ve got a Valentine’s gift for you.” Now we’re talking. “I now officially grant you 2 hours off duty. I’ve booked a pampering session for you.”
“But shouldn’t Valentine’s Day be celebrated together, the both of us?” Thinking back now, I should have just shut up and said “Thank you” instead.
“Well, if you want me to go with you for a pedicure, I could. I jus don’t think the pedicurist would be too happy with the condition of my feet.”
“Alright then, thanks for the gift. What do you want in return?” Again, I should have stopped at “Thank you”.
“I’m going out for a drink with the guys on Saturday, ok?” He answered without the slightest guilt and hesitation.
“I KNEW IT!! It was a barter!” He smiled and walked away.
Really, there’s no free lunch under the sun. Not when it comes to dealing with my husband.