A word I didn’t appreciate when I was in it; the same word I’m beginning to dislike as time goes by. For the past 3 days or so, there’s never a day that passed by without me being asked repeatedly, “So which school is she attending?” or “When do you plan to start her in school?” or worse, “Still playing at home?”. Tell me, is there anything wrong with a 2 years-old playing at home?

When I gave birth to Doughnut 25 months ago, I made myself a promise: that I would NEVER make her the girl I never was and never wanted to be. Which means, no art / drawing lessons. No ballet or dancing school. No speech and drama classes. No music sessions, right brain development courses or karate school. Not until she’s old enough to make her own choices and tell me that she wants any of them.

The first few times when I was asked the “school question”, I was unprepared. For a moment of two, it felt like I was not doing it right and making poor decisions for Doughnut. It made me feel insecure, as though I was depriving her of some opportunities. After much asking around, reading up and some soul-searching, I felt more relief. More assured that while there’s no exact right or wrong answers, the decision is plainly an individual choice. And that everyone makes different choices for different reasons.

The next few times when I was asked the same question, I’ve learnt to be more confident when answering. “She hasn’t started school yet. She’s learning at home for the time being.” Just smile and continue the conversation. There’s really no need to judge or to be affected by those who chose to judge.

I am proud of the decision I make for Doughnut, and I hope she will be proud to say the same of me when she grows up.

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